Sugar Rush
by SSSRHA
Summary: In which there is Nico and candy (which, as everyone learns, is a horrible combination). (Or: In which Nico gets a sugar rush and everyone else is trying to make sure that Camp doesn't burn down). [crack-fic, post-HoO pre-ToA, rewrite of "How Camp-Halfblood Fell And Burst Into Flames"] [On hiatus]


_**This is a rewrite of one of my old fic: "How Camp-Halfblood Fell And Burst Into Flames"**_

 ** _It's not bad...but it's also not good. You can read it if you want, but I honestly have high hopes for this rewrite._**

 ** _And if you were wondering, the original was described as "DA EPITOME OF CRACK" by moonlighpale._**

 ** _Anyway, onwards!_**

* * *

 **Despite popular** opinion, Nico di Angelo did _not_ spend all his free time brooding in some dark corner. No, he _walked outside,_ basking in the sunlight and soaking in the calming atmosphere of Camp Half-Blood (and since he was already depressed enough, he decided to completely ignore the two children beating each other to a pulp at the side of the clearing).

This _should_ have been Nico's personal time. He should have been walking calmly through Camp, his eyes distant, and a faint smile on his lips. He should have been _enjoying it._

And he _would_ have been enjoying it if it weren't for one little problem.

Said problem was that his boyfriend (Will Solace), Jason Grace, and Perseus _goddamn_ Jackson were shadowing him.

No, Nico couldn't call it shadowing since that implied that they were _good_ at it. Maybe stalking? No, that also implied skill and subtlety.

In the end, Nico decided that the three most consequential men _(boys,_ actually, but then he would have to admit that he himself was also a child) in his life were merely following him.

That's not to say that they didn't _try_ to be discreet. They made an impressive show of ducking behind various conveniently placed fountains and statues that littered the field.

Nico had a hard time wrapping his head around the fact that Jason Grace and Perseus _goddamn_ Jackson, two _war heroes_ that ranked top ten in the deadliest mortals he had ever met, could not follow someone undetected.

No, they could not even follow someone _silently._

" _Get your hand off of my face-"_

" _Get your face off of my hand-"_

" _Be quiet! He might hear us!"_

Much to Nico's surprise, it was _Will_ who was doing the best job. In fact, Nico might not have even noticed his boyfriend if not for the fact that he kept trying to shut up his apparently-stupid friends.

 _Will._

 _WILL._

Shaking his head, Nico continued on his walk, not acknowledging the three men following him.

He was _not_ going to let them ruin _his_ free time.

* * *

 **Lunch was** a calm affair. Nothing of importance or consequence really happened.

No, it was _afterward_ that really got everything started.

Nico wasn't entirely sure how he had arrived in Zeus Cabin. Everything after finishing his food was a bit of a haze.

No, wait, something was resurfacing.

" _...on, it'll be fun!"_

" _No."_

" _When was the last time you played Truth or Dare?!"_

" _Never, actually."_

" _Really?! Now you_ _ **have**_ _to come!"_

" _No. I refuse."_

" _Nico-"_

" _Leo-"_

" _You'll have fun-"_

" _Let go of my hand-"_

And the memory once again faded away.

Since Nico wasn't stupid, he managed to piece together what had happened.

"So," he said calmly, facing Leo, "you dragged me here against my will?"

"Don't say it like that! Trust me, you'll have a great time."

Nico's eyes darkened. "Oh, I _better,_ Valdez. If I leave Zeus Cabin _without_ having the best time of my life, _there will be consequences._ You dragged me here, _so it better be worth my time."_

The room was covered in a heavy silence.

Jason cleared his throat. "Let's begin."

And that's when Nico realized that there were people in the room besides him and Leo. He mentally took a tally.

 _Leo, Jason, Percy, and Grover._

"Five people for a game of Truth or Dare?"

"Yep," Leo said happily. "It's perfect!"

Nico stayed silent because, no, it was _not_ perfect because, if he were being completely honest, he had no idea how to play the damn game.

Percy, deciding to take charge, said, "Jason, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

Percy raised an eyebrow. "You too _scared_ to do a dare?"

"No, but every single game of Truth or Dare I have ever played always ended badly when someone chose the option of dare, and I don't want to be blamed for whatever hot mess _this_ turns into."

"...okay then. So, you have chosen truth. Jason Grace, have you ever kissed a girl other than Piper?"

Jason paused. He wasn't frozen in fear or even surprised. He looked contemplative. "Well...my sister, I suppose. Maybe my mother, but I don't exactly remember."

Percy's eyes narrowed. "Well played, Grace, well played."

Jason gave Percy a charming, considerate smile that probably would have tore the space-time continuum in half just by the virtue of how _pure_ it was if it weren't for that single blemish of a scar on his upper lip.

"Well, Jackson, truth or dare?"

"Truth," Percy replied promptly, not to be outdone.

"Have _you_ kissed a girl other than Annabeth?"

"Yes, actually."

And then Percy gave Jason a charming, considerate grin that probably would have tore the space-time continuum in half just by the virtue of how humble it was if it weren't for the fact that Percy had just admitted to something so _scandalous._

"Really? When?"

"Elementary school, I think. Her name was Becky or something like that. I don't remember much about her or the kiss, except that it wasn't exactly the best one."

Jason nodded gracefully. "Of course. This must have been before you met Annabeth."

"At least a year before," Percy agreed.

And then the two men smiled at each other, so pure and humble, that Nico was expecting a literal rip in the space-time continuum to appear between them.

Leo decided to speak up (and possibly saved the universe in the process). "While your adorable best-friend/rival this is entertaining-"

" _I'm_ Percy's best friend!" Grover yelled, scandalized.

"-this is really not the time." His gaze zeroed in on Nico, who felt a sudden pit of dread form in his stomach.

"Nico, truth or dare?"

And while every shred of common sense in Nico di Angelo screamed at him to choose truth, his traitorous piece-of-scum mouth decided to betray him.

"Dare."

And _goddammit,_ the moment he uttered that word, the universe itself shook.

Apparently Nico was the only one who felt it, though.

Before he could open his mouth and take it back (or possibly make it worse), Leo grinned.

"Good choice. Wait here, I'll be back in a minute."

As soon as Leo walked out of the cabin, Nico put his face in his hands and let out one silent, unmanly sob because _goddammit_ he was probably not going to survive this day sane.

Then he took his face out of his hands, wiped away the single tear that had escaped his left eye, and calmly stared at some arbitrary point on the far wall.

Grover gave him a funny look. "Dude...are you okay?"

Nico was silent for a moment. He then glanced at Grover, who still looked concerned, and then to Jason and Percy, who had both directed their pure and humble smiles respectively at him. He then closed his eyes as another shudder ran through the universe, striking him to his very core.

"No," he finally said. "I'm not."

And Grover couldn't exactly argue with that.

* * *

 **Leo walked** back into the room after exactly five minutes and thirty-two seconds.

Nico had been counting.

The moment Leo walked in, Nico got the urge to cry uncontrollably.

He didn't, though. Because he was _strong_ and _powerful_ and the _son of Hades_ and-

"Nico, I dare you to eat as much candy as possible from this bag in five minutes!"

And Leo plopped the huge bag of candy almost, almost as large as Nico's torso, in front of him.

Nico's despair disappeared, replaced with irritation. "What kind of dare is that?"

Leo gave him a huge, _perfect_ grin, and Nico nearly scrambled backward in terror because _oh_ _ **hell**_ _no!_

(And he would have, too, if it weren't for the fact that his back was to the wall.)

Somewhere, somehow, an angel was probably crying.

No, wait, that was just him.

Leo's grin vanished, replaced with concern. "Nico, are you alright?"

Grover, too, continued to stare at him, concerned.

And Jason and Percy walked over and calmly started asking him what was wrong while _oozing_ purity and humbleness (respectively, of course. Or maybe they had switched roles. Nico couldn't tell at this point).

Having had enough of this, Nico yelled, "Just give me the damn bag!"

They all drew back, hurt flashing across their perfect features and Nico might have blushed at the reminder that, _yes,_ he was, in fact, gay (which was not the best thing to realize while being surrounded by arguably the best-looking men at Camp) if it weren't for the fact that he was quite content in his relationship with Will Solace.

Instead, he snatched up the bag of candy and gave Leo an expectant look. "Well, Valdez, are you going to time me?"

Leo cleared his throat. "You, uh, still have some tears on your face-"

" _Get the goddamn timer."_

"Y-Yes, sir."

And Nico watched impatiently as Leo started to haphazardly rummage through his toolbelt while insisting that he had a timer in there _somewhere._

Grover relaxed slightly, the tension bleeding out of his shoulders and he gave Nico a weak, encouraging smile.

Jason and Percy had gone back to their spots and, yes, were also smiling at him. Purely and humbly.

And yes, they had apparently switched roles.

 _Goddammit._

* * *

 **So...yay?**

 **This was fun to write, and it feels nice to know that my old, somewhat cringey fic will be rewritten.**

 **I haven't been in the Percy Jackson fandom in a while, nor have I been reading much Percy Jackson fanfiction, but I hope that this is still well-received.**

 **Eh, whatever.**

 **Remember to Favorite, Follow, and Review! Until next time, this is SSSRHA, signing out!**


End file.
